Shame, Fear, and Guilt seemed to follow me throughout my life, and I had been in church since the day I was born. I was actively involved in church every week! Yet those three things followed me everywhere. I could not get away from the shame of the things I had been involved in, the fear of where those things where taking me and the loneliness of that destination, and the pressure of the guilt that stayed with me wherever I went. I felt there was no escape but to try to make God happy by doing good things.
One day I got tired of trying to escape the guilt, fear, and shame on my own. I was tired of trying to make God happy by trying to live a good Christian life. I was tired of being scared, pressured, and ashamed. In September 1997, in the parking lot behind my church I cried out to God to forgive me for the things I had done, I told him I was tired of working for His love. I allowed Christ to give me forgiveness freely. I let go of my works and grabbed onto His work of love!
It has been 14 years since that day and it has been an incredible journey. The journey had its ups and downs but one where I was never forsaken and always forgiven. I am learning daily that God’s love is not based upon what I have done for Him but solely on His intense love for me. It is because of His love for me that I live for Him and not live a life to gain His love. I serve Him gladly and with joy now because of what He has done for me.
Check out my Church: Evansburg Baptist Church, Evansburg, TN