My mother made sure I was always in church. I would see these smiling families sitting together in their Sunday best and I felt a great disconnect from that. I would stand in Church, singing, “I’ll fly away” meanwhile, my heart was hurting and I felt broken inside, thinking, “How could I have a relationship with this man they call Jesus, when I never got to have a relationship with my own father? How could anyone understand this hurt and emptiness I feel?” I continued to attend Church with this brokenness and in my late teens I strayed away from the Church.
I became completely lost in the world. I was searching for a father’s love in all the wrong places and I remember one night just kneeling on my bedroom floor, crying out to God, saying, “I don’t want to be broken anymore. I don’t want to be angry anymore.” and I completely gave my brokenness over to God. I prayed for peace and understanding and I begin to solely seek him to fill the space that had been made in my fathers death.
Since knowing Christ, I feel more alive and I have a peace I have never felt before. My husband and I are in the process of applying to be foster parents. I’m praying God can use me and my pain to reach others that are hurting because one thing God has called me to do, is to go out into the world and bring the hurting to him because he is the only one that can truly give us peace.
Check out my Church: Webbers Falls First Baptist, Webbers Falls, OK